As promised, here is my blog post on determing the worth of a human being.
As I wrote in an earlier post, my counselor gave me a task: determine how to ascribe worth to a soul. Ostensibly, this is so that I can try to see myself as valuable not because of how much I make, how many degrees I have, how hard I work or how much I accomplish, but valuable just because I am. We got on this topic because I mentioned to her that I come from a family who, to a person, is probably "better" than average in terms of kindness, intelligence, generosity, goodness of heart, etc., and yet probably a good 75% of them feel "unworthy" somehow. No matter what they know about themselves empirically, they struggle to believe it emotionally.
And, if you go back and read some of the writings of my great-grandmother's mother, you realize that it has been this way for us generation after generation. Why is that? Especially when there are those out there who are less of all those characteristics that I think "should" lead to lots of esteem, and yet somehow they are convinced that the planets revolve around them (and everything else should, too!). How does that work?
So anyway, the counselor told me to try to determine what makes a soul worth something, and how would I determine that one soul, for whatever reason, might be more or less worthy than another one. Here is where I am at so far:
At first I was thinking that all people had worth simply because they were alive. But then I thought, well, cows and chickens are alive, too, but I don't think they are worth as much as a human being. So the mere fact of being a living, sentient being is not the determining factor - at least, not for me.
So then I thought, well, anyone who makes the world a better place has worth. But, I think everyone makes the world a better place. It's just that some do it by coming into it, and others do it by leaving! So anyway, that's not going to work, either.
So, to all three or four of you who actually read this, I am conducting a poll: How do YOU determine the worth of a human soul? And using whatever you use, how do you determine what makes one person better than another? I'm looking forward to your input...
Just a Pause
6 years ago
6 comments:
I read this post yesterday and have been giving it some thought ever since. It's definitely a tough one. I narrowed it down by changing the question and thinking about what makes someone worthless to me. The two things that I kept coming back to were respect and empathy. In my opinion, someone loses value when they don't have respect or empathy for anything or anyone around them... the earth, animals, people, themselves, etc. I thought about the type of people that I feel don't have much worth and I automatically thought of murderers, rapists, people that hurt animals, and anyone else that can and will deliberately hurt other people and/or things. You know, the type of people that could disappear tomorrow and I wouldn't give a second thought to. It's interesting that you point out that even not so worthy people can feel that the planets revolve around them. I'm sure that even some murderers and rapists feel that they are very important and have a lot of worth. It's pretty subjective.
I guess I find worth in myself because I generally feel that I am a respectful person. I try to be sensitive and empathetic. And, in the end, I seek to be around people who are respectful and empathetic as well. They are valuable to me.
You are one smart cookie, Krystal! I like your ideas about respect and empathy - I, too, value those things. I especially like your trick of turning the question around. I am going to try that, too, as I ponder this question (I've got a few more days until my next appointment!). Thanks especially, though, for taking the question seriously and giving me a very heart-felt answer. Consider yourself squeezed from me. Love ya - JL
Right now I have four lovely children hanging on my arms, I will think this over awhile and post when my shadows are sleeping. I am sorry I haven't been in touch with you for awhile. I have been feeling terrible about it. I hope everything is going good for you. If you have any great ideas for a night out, I am more than ready for one. Love you lady- Mindi
How do you determine the worth of a soul? As I pondered this question, the one thing that stands out the most is LOVE. Not only the love one gives, but for one to allow themselves to be loved by others. As I considered those in my life that I value the most, it is the love I have for them, and the love they give to me that makes them valuable and worthy.
Of couse, there are all the obvious things that make a person worthy or valuable; intelligence, charity, kindness, thoughtfulness...ect. All of these attributes, and more, makes a person valuable in my eyes. But, to me, it is ultimatley LOVE that determines the worth of a soul.
As for determining what makes one person better than another, my thought is this--
As a human being, your contributions to other human beings is what may prove you to be better than another.
I felt I should have some long, elaborate bit of input on this question, but this the one thing I kept going back to! I guess as the Beattles sing, "All you need is love".
I LOVE YOU Joi Lin, you are a person of worth to me. Love-Mindi
Awww, Mindi, you made me cry!
You are so sweet and so pure and generous of heart - we are all very grateful that Jeff found you and that you stuck with him. I love you, too - and am grateful that you love me. :)
The one thing you said that really stuck out to me was the idea of loving others and allowing yourself to be loved, in return. I think you may be on to something. For instance, Cyd doesn't have much empathy, nor much respect, nor does she deliberately try to make the world a better place (though I think she does so, unconsciously). And despite all this, she certainly has worth in my eyes. She does love, and she does allow herself to be loved, in return. So maybe all you need, really IS love...
Thank you - both for the answer, and for the love. ;) JL
I realized, after reading what you wrote about Cyd, that there is so much more to this question. I think it is one that can never be answered.
When I thought it over yeterday, I was just considering it for myself, for people like me- people in a similar place in life. Today, I considered it for someone with a disability, which I can't really answer, aside from what I think would make someone valuable to Lily. I then considered it for people who are fortunate enough to have their lives enriched by someone with a disabilty.
As you said, Cyd may not posess some of those qualities that are obviously considered to make someone valuable. But Cyd is valuable. Maybe not for all those things, but for the less obvious things. The most important to me is that she has provided me with a greater acceptance for someone who is not "typical", the ability to accept someone for who they are. Also, the opportunity to imagine life through her eyes. And above all, knowing Cyd has made it easier for me, as a parent, to accept and cope with the fact that I have a child with a disabilty. I know Cyd and Lily do not compare, but just knowing that Cyd continually grows, learns, and progresses gives me hope and helps me realize that a)Lily will do the same, b) I am not the only parent who deals with the challenges of a disability, and c)that I am a better parent because of these challenges. I think Cydanie has made an enormous contribution to our entire family. All of us are better because we have her. Some in more ways than others, but nonetheless, she has contributed to all of us.
Also, as I considered the worth of a soul beyond my world, I realized that it is open to endless considerations. I would love to hear what a mother in a third world country would say, or someone like- um - George Bush! What an individual feels is valuable would depend greatly on their life and their experiences. For me, it is love because that is what I value most.
I loved being able to consider what made Cyd valuable. She may not be empathetic, respectful, or whatever, but I knew she was a worthy soul to me. Why? It was awesome to realize that a human can do more than the obvious, without even knowing it, just for being who they are, and still be a person of such great worth.
Love you, and thanks for sharing your amazing child with the world.
Mindi
Post a Comment